Corrections Dec 3, 2008

A recent how-to piece, "Shake Your Money Maker," should have specified that by "money maker" we meant ass. The Onion apologizes for any confusion.

More Corrections

The Birthday Girl

An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.

We're So Sorry

The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.

Homegrown Terrorism

The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.