Wind has big plans for your umbrella
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    More Innovative Products

    Slideshow • Science & Technology • ISSUE 44•14 • Apr 5, 2008
    • Facebook54
    • Twitter0
    • Google Plus1
    • Coca-Cola Introduces New 30-Liter Size

      ATLANTA—The Coca-Cola Corporation held a press conference yesterday to announce that its soft drinks will soon be available exclusively in 30-liter plastic bottles. According to company spokespeople, Coke's decision to sell its product in what many consider to be overly large containers is not based on a specific study or survey of consumer demands, but rather on the company's desire to make a resounding display of its corporate might.
      1 of 10
    • New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious

      NEW YORK—Pfizer formally introduced Hoagizine, a pharmaceutical-grade Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt.
      2 of 10
    • Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks

      PLANO, TX—"Look at what you've reduced us to," said CEO Al Carey, as he disgustedly held up a bag of Cranberry Spinach Explosion snack chips.
      3 of 10
    • Kraft Introduces New Kraft Doubles For Couples

      NORTHFIELD,IL—Kraft officials claim that this is the first adjoined-cheese product that's both practical and sexy.
      4 of 10
    • New Sony In-Utero TV To Entertain Children In The Womb

      LOS ANGELES—The entertainment industry is abuzz following the Sony Corporation's unveiling Monday of the Utertron 9000, a state-of-the-art in-utero womb-entertainment system for children between the ages of minus nine months and zero.
      5 of 10
    • New Remote Control Can Be Operated By Remote

      TOKYO—Television watching became even more convenient this week with Sony's introduction of a new remote-controlled remote control.
      6 of 10
    • Home Homosexuality Test Now Available

      7 of 10
    • Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product

      SAN FRANCISCO—Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch.
      8 of 10
    • General Motors Introduces New Instant-Win Airbags

      DETROIT—With its market share down 11 percent, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest.
      9 of 10
    • Morning After Morning After Pill Re-Impregnates Guilt-Ridden Women

      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Review

      • The Afterlife

      • Hair

      • The Roast of Ahmadinejad

      • Safety

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    Entertainment

    Entertainment

    Lifestyle

    News

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    Recent News

    3-Day Weekend Practically Already OverBiden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp ClaimGay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second ThingRestaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up AntibioticsKate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy Orgy

    Recent Videos

    Gay Scouts Forced To Wear Special Merit Badge

    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice CommandsObama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    • TV: TV Club: Marvel's Avengers Assemble

    • Borgen, "Count To 90"

    • Maron, "Dominatrix"

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports

    • Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

    • Dr. Good's Ultimate Shot Giveaway! - Dr. Good - Ep. 3

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved