Most Fertile Irish Male Found

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American Voices

Most Fertile Irish Male Found

February 7, 2006 | ISSUE 42•05

Irish scientists believe they have discovered the most fertile Irish male, a fifth-century warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages with over 3 million offspring worldwide. What do you think?

These 'scientists' can get back to me after they get fucked up and down in a dirty bathroom stall by Colin Farrell. Try, say, 9 o’clock tonight.

Dave Riley
Medical Technician
Yeah, I knew him. Fletcher Murphy. Skinny oik. Punched me in the neck and impregnated my sister, but who hasn't?

Patty Boyle
Roofer
My wife and I share a fifth-century ancestor? Eeewww!

D.M. Rolland
Glass Blower

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