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Sports News in Brief

Nation's Cowboys Fans Deeply Nostalgic Following Michael Irvin's Latest Drug-Related Arrest

December 1, 2005 | ISSUE 41•48

PLANO, TX—Cowboys football fans nationwide experienced deep feelings of nostalgia for the franchise's glory days when former Dallas receiver Michael Irvin, for years an offensive standout even on one of the NFL's most talented and felony-prone teams, was once again involved in illegal drug-related activities. Irvin, who led all players in combined receptions, touchdowns, receiving yards, and arrests for cocaine possession in the '90s, was charged with misdemeanor paraphernalia possession when officers found a crack pipe in his car during a routine traffic stop. "I know it's not the same as 1996—that was the year Michael was absolutely in the zone, and also circumstantially in that hotel room with a suitcase full of cocaine and some hookers, and went on to get 1,200 yards and 800 hours of community service," said Dallas resident and lifelong Cowboys fan Elizabeth McGlynn. "But it's good to know that he's still got something left in the old tank. I bet he could really teach these rookies today a few tricks." Dallas has not had a starter go to both the Pro Bowl and narcotics court in the same year since Irvin retired in 2000 to become one of ESPN's less-controversial on-air personalities.
The Onion

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