Sailors Take Warning
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Natural Disasters

    Slideshow • Science & Technology • ISSUE 45•10 • Mar 6, 2009
    • Facebook3
    • Twitter0
    • Google Plus0
    • Aftershock A Real 'Fuck You' To Earthquake Victims

      1 of 10
    • Tennessee Helpless Against New Basement Tornadoes

      MEMPHIS—Meteorologists have measured basement winds at speeds of up to 200 mph—powerful enough to drive a box of dryer sheets six inches into solid concrete.
      2 of 10
    • Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

      MIAMI—Thousands have already fled the popularly dubbed "Hurricane That Shall Not Be Named," to escape its destructive winds and chilling impersonality.
      3 of 10
    • Philippine Mud Wins In Landslide

      4 of 10
    • FEMA Calls Rebuilding Complete As New Orleans Restored To Former Squalor

      NEW ORLEANS, LA—"Our job here is done," said FEMA Undersecretary R. David Paulison, cutting the ribbon on a newly restored pile of garbage.
      5 of 10
    • God Cites 'Moving In Mysterious Ways' As Motive In Killing Of 3,000 Papua New Guineans

      VANIMO, PAPUA NEW GUINEA—In His first official statement since the July 17 tsunami that claimed the lives of an estimated 3,000 Papua New Guineans, the Lord announced Monday that He killed the island villagers as part of His longtime
      6 of 10
    • Swiss Avalanche Kills Thousands; World Stays Neutral

      7 of 10
    • Earthquake Kills 54 Rescue Workers' Weekend Plans

      8 of 10
    • Weather-Weary Nation Not Surprised By Forecast Of Blood Storms

      WASHINGTON, DC—Weather-beaten U.S. citizens have responded to predictions of swirling blood storms and softball-sized clot-hail with numb resignation.
      9 of 10
    • Thousands Feared Born In Nigerian Population Explosion

      LAGOS, NIGERIA—UN officials remain unsure what caused the population explosion, but point out that border disputes with neighboring Chad and Niger have cooled heroin trafficking, and mass slaughter at the hands of a traditionally military government has fallen to its lowest levels in 18 years.
      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Review

      • The Week In Review

      • Political Friendships

      • The Week In Review

      • Sex & Romance

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    Entertainment

    Lifestyle

    News

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    News

    Recent News

    Restaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up AntibioticsKate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy OrgyWoman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This AugustLocal Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On YelpFather Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System

    Recent Videos

    Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

    Web Series Reaches 100 ViewsTim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Starbucks Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    • TV: TV Club: Does Someone Have To Go?

    • TV: Great Job, Internet!: The Godfather and Arrested Development collide head-on to create Arrested Godfather

    • Film: Newswire: Francis Ford Coppola wants to do a movie about a non-mob affiliated Italian-American family

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Web Series Reaches 100 Views

    • Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved