NEW YORK—At a press conference Tuesday, the NBC television network unveiled its new fall lineup of programs that will be canceled almost immediately after airing. "We could not be more excited for this season of soon-to-be-absent shows," said NBC chairman Jeff Gaspin, standing beneath an oversized "Must-Miss TV" banner. "Joining our Thursday night comedy lineup is the can't-win Father Shane in the 9:30 slot, followed by the never-going-to-be-given-a-chance news magazine Insight. And if you like drama, you're going to be crushed when we unfairly yank our critically acclaimed supernatural thriller Dark Riders after only four episodes." Gaspin added that fans would also be surprised by changes in store for some of their old favorites, specifically that all of them would be canceled.