Rain cloud following all residents of Wayne, ME today
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking
    Newswire • Family • Local • ISSUE 48•22 • May 29, 2012
    • Facebook12
    • Twitter38
    • Google Plus0

    Needy Mom Calling With Birthday Wishes

    More Newswire

    Movie Character Looking Through Old Photos Sees One That Makes Him Smile, But Then One That's More Troubling

    Hard-Drinking Anti-Semite A Regular Roald Dahl

    'Congratulations' Typed Into Facebook Comment Bar, Reconsidered, Deleted

    Family

    Tech Is The Future, Reports Local DadAnnual 6-Sentence Conversation With Cousin Goes SmoothlyClear Theme Of Obedient Children Emerging In Father’s Bedtime StoriesLawyer Urged By Mother To Include Younger Brother In Murder TrialUnpopular Kid Having Trouble Fitting In At HomeWoman Has Bizarre Ability To Share Details About Personal Life With ParentsBrother-In-Law's Latest Money-Making Scheme Involves Starting PGA Championship Golf CourseArea Dad Points Out Place That Has Great Reuben Sandwiches'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With ParentsReport: Dad Proud Of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True

    • Childrens Hospital, "Triangles"

    • TV: TV Club: Please Like Me

    • TV: Newswire: Fox at the TCA press tour: Reinventing the wheel (in order to resemble the "o" in the Fox logo)

    • WTF Desktop NotePad

    • Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder Magnet

    • "I'm a Douche" Coffee Mug

    • Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: We visit the photo-shoot site that's become a monument to Elliott Smith

    • A.V. Undercover: ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead covers The Kinks' "Sunny Afternoon"

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved