-
  • Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff
  • Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well
  • Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats
  • Nation's Telephone Conversation Fans Thrilled By Long-Awaited Mayweather-Pacquiao Phone Call
  • Controversial GoDaddy.com Super Bowl Commercial To Feature Scantily Clad Woman Performing Late-Term Abortion
  • Brandon Marshall Proves What He’s Capable Of If Defenses Play At 50 Percent

Sports News in Brief

Nervous University Of South Florida Football Team Kind Of Hoping They Lose

October 18, 2007 | ISSUE 43•42

TAMPA, FL—Saying that their No. 2 national ranking is "not something we really want or need at this point," nervous University of South Florida head coach Jim Leavitt told reporters at the team's afternoon practice yesterday that he "more or less was hoping" that his team would lose one or more of their next several games. "Look, our program is barely 10 years old—we're the type of team that goes out there and tries hard, maybe gets a few points on a ranked team here or there. We don't contend for national titles," said a visibly flustered Leavitt, adding that had he known beating Central Florida 64-12 last Saturday would make the Bulls the No. 2 team in the country, he would have fielded his second-string offense in the second quarter. "Leave all this 'win or go home, play for a title every year' nonsense up to the Ohio States or the LSUs. That's not our thing. Maybe a few years from now, but certainly not this year." After realizing that his team matched up quite well with the rest of USF's remaining opponents, Leavitt reportedly contacted the NCAA to discuss downplaying the difficulty of the remainder of the season.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.