Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has eliminated smoking in the Capitol Building. Here are some other changes the Democrats have enacted on Capitol Hill:

All representatives fitted with uniforms to improve morale, promote discipline

Casual-Abortion Fridays

Congressional spittoon moved to Rep. Howard Coble's (R–NC) office

Installation of huge dry-erase "idea boards"around the Rotunda

Issues not resolved within first 100 hours will no longer exist

Carte blanche switched from oil companies to welfare recipients

Reinstatement of checks and balances