LAWRENCE, KS—After studying a rich fossil bed in the South Dakota plains, paleontologists from the University of Kansas have confirmed that most Cretaceous Period dinosaurs ultimately died in hospice care. “We’ve uncovered a number of fossils of elderly Tyrannosaurus Rexes and Troodons more or less seated in makeshift wheelchairs and covered in shawls,” Professor Meredith Moreschi told reporters Friday, adding that once dinosaurs were too old to take care of themselves, they were loaded onto the back of a triceratops and carried to an assisted living facility where they could be looked after by a trained staff of anklyosaurs. “We also found evidence of older, dementia-suffering velociraptors wandering off and being led back to the facility by stegosauruses, who essentially served as night nurses.” Moreschi added that specific groupings of other fossils in the area indicated that younger dinosaurs didn’t visit the older ones nearly as often as they could have.