New Monkey Discovered

American VoicesOpinion ISSUE 48•37 Sep 13, 2012

Previously undocumented by science but known to locals as the lesula, a shy species of monkey with a hairless face and blond mane was discovered by zoologists in the remote lowland rainforests of the Democratic Republic of Congo. What do you think?

  • “Before we get attached to this new species, are there any natural resources in its habitat we might want to exploit?”

    Ian Fung –
    Unemployed

  • “Just skip to the important details. How strong is its organ-grinding arm, and does it know its way around a pair of cymbals?”

    Maggie Noble –
    Nursery School Attendant

  • “Doesn’t change a thing for me. My favorite primate with a hairless face and blond mane is still Pamela Anderson.”

    Rolf Hofschneider –
    Port Warden

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