A joint report from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Trust For America's Health calls for the appointment of a food czar and the creation of a food safety agency separate from the existing Food and Drug Administration. Here are some of the report's other food safety suggestions:

Indicating on packaging whether food came off the floor or was scraped off a roller

Banning the riding of horses in factories

Sniffing milk before deciding whether to drink it; if inconclusive, having others nearby also sniff milk

Animals must undergo psychological evaluation prior to slaughter to make sure meat will not taste angry

No more ingredients from giant bins with question marks on them will be allowed

Adding "unless it enhances flavor" to the end of all existing preventive measures

Pantsless food handlers required to wear a pubic net while working

Including a copy of Upton Sinclair's The Jungle in all packages of hot dogs