WASHINGTON, DC— Seeking to stimulate consumer spending, the Treasury Department
unveiled "QuikCash," a new U.S. currency that expires two weeks from the date of
its issuance. "America, get ready to spend," Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill
said Monday. "QuikCash is our exciting new way to jump-start the economy while
telling our valued citizens, 'Hey, go get yourself something nice. Now.'"
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...




0

