Last week this publication announced it was moving New York to Chicago. That statement was incorrect. It should have read "moving from New York to Chicago." Moving New York to Chicago would be impossible, and plus everybody would hate it. The Onion regrets the error.
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.