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  • Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
  • Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
  • Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
  • Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
  • Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
  • Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

Sportsgraphic

March 1, 2007

NFL Combine Highlights

With the NFL draft combine in the books, Onion Sports takes a closer look at some of the more notable performances:

After Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn's refusal to throw for scouts damages his draft standing, LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell improves his own by throwing Quinn 60 yards

Sooners running back Adrian Peterson settles all questions about his health and toughness by nonchalantly strolling through brick walls whenever possible 

UTEP quarterback Jordan Palmer impresses coaches and scouts by repeatedly saying "I am related to NFL quarterback Carson Palmer"

Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas executes a 50-foot vertical leap upon being frightened by a mouse during his physical; the nurse who catches him is invited to work out for the Arizona Cardinals

Kansas State wide receiver Yamon Figures wows all in attendance by turning in a blazing 4.2-second time on the Wonderlic test

Ohio State's Ted Ginn fails to impress the Cleveland Browns during the interview portion of the combine when head coach Romeo Crennel asks him why he wants to play for the Browns; Ginn responds by saying he does not, in fact, want to play for the Browns

While the lights are being turned off so everyone can go home for the night, USC center Ryan Kalil is discovered to be still bench-pressing 225 pounds

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