TAMPA BAY, FL—Mike Geyer, 38, a self-proclaimed nonvoter, told friends and colleagues Wednesday that his decision not to cast a ballot like an active participant in a free democratic society was justified by the predictable outcome of the 2010 midterm elections. "I told you," said Geyer, who didn't vote in 2008 because the country "would never elect a black president" and who has opted to mute his own voice in the electoral process rather than risk having his vote canceled out by someone with an opposing view. "It's not like what's-his-face had a chance, anyway." Geyer added that he might vote in 2012 if the new online voting application for masturbators improves its interface.
More News in Brief
BREAKING: Lovers Lost In Fog
‘Isabelle!’
SEDGECREST GRANGE—According to reports currently emanating from the sullen gloom of Sedgecrest Grange, two young lovers, mere moments after their impetuous peregrination into the ...
Report: 79% Of Sincere Thoughts Played Off As Jokes
NEW HAVEN, CT—According to a groundbreaking new report from researchers at Yale University’s Center for Cultural Sociology, a full 79 percent of all ...
Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office
COLUMBUS, OH—Based on his recent activity on Facebook, local man Arthur Gibson, 29, is reportedly under the impression that libertarian icon and former presidential ...



0
