WASHINGTON—President Obama delivered a 10-minute-long inaudible and untelevised speech on gun control Thursday, addressing the politically volatile topic from behind the closed doors of the Oval Office, where nobody could see or hear him. "The Second Amendment doesn't…" said Obama, who trailed off and gently whispered a number of strong, definitive statements that were muffled by the hand in front of his face. "While I understand this is an important issue to many Americans, I also believe that in the aftermath of the tragedy in Arizona, certain kinds of guns are [incoherent mumble], and that we should seriously look at [incoherent mumble]. It's the right thing to do." White House sources confirmed that it was Obama's finest speech since his one-hour silent monologue last Friday, when he outlined the growing threat of climate change and ordered the oil and automobile industries to develop renewable energy sources while cutting carbon emissions completely by 2018.
More News in Brief
New Obesity Drug Delicious
CHICAGO—Following the FDA’s approval of the prescription obesity medication Pryvexa earlier this week, users of the recently released weight management pill have confirmed ...
Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of Twinkles
WASHINGTON—In a breakthrough study that experts say completely reshapes our understanding of the cosmos, a team of astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered that ...
Last 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area Man
SAGINAW, MI—Saying he had been “shaken up pretty badly” after hitting rock bottom from 2001 to 2013, local man Phillip Garvey, 41, told reporters ...



1

