Beijing, China: The torch relay starts in this city, providing a symbolic reminder of what a huge mistake it was to hold the Olympics in Beijing

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Olympic gold medalist Lim Keng Liat totally forgets to embody the spirit of harmony and goodwill the flame represents during the first 450 feet of her relay

San Francisco: A runner carrying the Olympic torch accidentally collides with a runner carrying the Special Olympics extremely dry bush

Atlanta: Though the torch isn't scheduled to make a stop in this former Olympic host city, Muhammad Ali is still standing in the exact same spot he was back in 1996

London, England: Some idiot just throws torch in garbage

Olympia, Greece: Brief delay as officials are unable to determine whether or not Zeus himself lit the flame or if he had Hephaestus do it for him

Lake Como, Italy: Everyone is embarrassed for Italian torch-relay member Giuseppe Colgano when he detours eight blocks to his ex-wife's house and tells her "I am carrying this torch for you"

Muscat, Oman: Runner Batal Al Qaws performs the relay torch transition with his wrong hand, and his receiver Saad Al Shemmari unwittingly runs 1.4 miles proudly carrying a foot-long hot dog in the air

Istanbul, Turkey: Frustrated officials are unable to catch the rascally rabbit that keeps blowing out the torch whenever they turn their heads

Islamabad, Pakistan: After Chinese officials send him food and water to get him healthy enough to carry the torch, a refreshed and reenergized Osama bin Laden runs over three miles