Newswire • News • ISSUE 48•16 • Apr 16, 2012

On Bright Side, Paramedic Finally Gets To Say 'Dead On Arrival'

Kanye West Grips Armrests And Frantically Whispers Own Lyrics During Heavy Turbulence

Guy Who Thinks He Outran Gorilla Decides To Casually Lean Elbow Against Big Furry Rock