ST. PAUL, MN—Spoken in a hushed and honeyed tone, the name of American Idol 2 winner Ruben Studdard spilled forth from the lips of a local resident yesterday, and, briefly hanging sea and sky between, escaped suddenly into the eternal chill of the crisp autumn air. According to those present, gone, gone is the reference to the rotund songsmith, passing unencumbered through the shared human consciousness and disappearing into the ether, yet another name now lost to the ages, silently fading into shadows numberless, suckled by the night sky. And lo, eyewitnesses report, the reference has taken its place in the heavens, sealed forever in memory forgotten, never to be heard again.
More News in Brief
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...
2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite Horrific
WASHINGTON—Citing a succession of tragedies that have darkened the majority of 2013, including the Boston Marathon bombing, the Bangladeshi garment building collapse, and yesterday ...
Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain
AMARILLO, TX—Frequently mentioning the fact that his hometown of Corpus Christi, TX also happens to be the birthplace of Whataburger, local 31-year-old Chad Derringer ...



0

