We urge all idiots to take caution during this snow emergency and keep in mind the follow tips:

  • Snow is cold
  • Avoid walking, running, or driving into trees
  • A garbage bag does not make a "great coat"
  • Keep icicles out of eyes
  • Go outside only if supervised by a non-idiot
  • Do not eat de-icing salt
  • Do not start fires indoors
  • If you urinate on self, change pants immediately