807Highlights
- 10:45 PM Ray Lewis Crying Over Embarrassing Spectacle He's Become
- 10:25 PM Phil Simms Spends Super Bowl Broadcast Talking Up New Orleans Sex Trade
- 8:51 PM Cast Of 'How I Met Your Mother' Hamming It Up At Bottom Of Screen For Entire Super Bowl
- 7:54 PM Super Bowl Party Host Screams At Guests For Lackluster First-Half Snacking
- 6:42 PM Harbaugh Boys Miss Super Bowl While Attempting To Solve Mystery Of Smugglers Cove
- 6:04 PM Ray Lewis Pregame Mating Dance Attracts Dozens Of Female Ravens
- Pregame Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl
- Pregame Onion Sports' Guide To Super Bowl XLVII
- 11:08 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
And as the Superdome retracts majestically into the Louisiana soil, a time to reflect
- 10:45 p.m. EST
Ray Lewis Crying Over Embarrassing Spectacle He's Become
After completing the final game of his career Sunday, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis was openly crying on national television over what a humiliating spectacle he’s become.
- 10:25 p.m. EST
Phil Simms Spends Super Bowl Broadcast Talking Up New Orleans Sex Trade
While announcing Sunday’s Super Bowl XLVII matchup between the Ravens and the 49ers, CBS sportscaster Phil Simms reportedly spent the majority of the championship broadcast praising New Orleans’ burgeoning sex trade.
- 10:10 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
The Harbaugh brothers are actually speaking to each other on their headsets about how happy they are to not be the Ryan brothers
- 9:45 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
John Harbaugh Attempts To Motivate Ravens By Firing Offensive Coordinator Again
- 9:28 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
That was a textbook hit from Ahmad Brooks that will be against the rules by 2014
- 9:02 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
Harbaugh Parents: ‘No Matter What Happens, We Will Always Love Our Daughter The Most’
- 8:51 p.m. EST
Cast Of 'How I Met Your Mother' Hamming It Up At Bottom Of Screen For Entire Super Bowl
- 8:45 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
Report: 49ers, Ravens Only People In America Not Eating Chicken Wings Right Now
- 8:38 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
‘Commercials Used To Be Better,’ Reports Insightful Sage With Eyes Drunkenly Half Open On Couch
- 8:20 p.m. EST
Halftime Report:
Super Bowl halftime show marred by tragic Destiny's Child reunion.
- 8:14 p.m. EST
Halftime Report:
Beyonce provides a taste of New Orleans by emerging from a massive pot of gumbo
- 8:04 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
Wow, Dan Marino just admitted he had a love child with CBS employee Jim Nantz
- 7:54 p.m. EST
Super Bowl Party Host Screams At Guests For Lackluster First-Half Snacking
Tied up with their efforts to crack their most intriguing case yet, sources confirmed Sunday that the Harbaugh Boys missed the first half of Super Bowl XLVII while attempting to solve The Mystery of Smugglers Cove.
- 7:05 p.m. EST
From OSN's Sideline Reporter:
The Harbaugh brothers are heartbroken to see dad’s seat empty at the big game
- 6:42 p.m. EST
Harbaugh Boys Miss Super Bowl While Attempting To Solve Mystery Of Smugglers Cove
Tied up with their efforts to crack their most intriguing case yet, sources confirmed Sunday that the Harbaugh Boys missed the first half of Super Bowl XLVII while attempting to solve The Mystery of Smugglers Cove.
- 6:04 p.m. EST
Ray Lewis Pregame Mating Dance Attracts Dozens Of Female Ravens
- Pregame Coverage
Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl
“I’m so pumped up! I can’t wait to savor every moment of a Harbaugh losing an NFL Championship,” said Kansas City resident Eric Rasmussen, adding that he’s praying for Super Bowl XLVII to be an embarrassing blowout.
- Pregame Coverage
Onion Sports' Guide To Super Bowl XLVII
Onion Sports provides in-depth analysis of X key people involved in Super Bowl XLVII
