Panda Born At National Zoo

American Voices • Opinion • ISSUE 48•38 • Sep 17, 2012

After five disappointing false pregnancies, Mei Xiang, the female panda at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., gave birth to a four-ounce cub last night, stunning zoo officials. What do you think?

“May mother and child enjoy many years of being gawked at in a cage.”
Gene Tanchauco –
Systems Analyst
“I’ll give a shit once the cub looks cute and furry and not like a wiggling piece of sausage.”
Sage Ralston –
Shuttle Bus Driver
“Did it sneeze? Don’t bother me until it sneezes.”
Jayne Caefer –
Air-Conditioning Mechanic

More American Voices

Study: 95% Of People Don’t Wash Hands Correctly

A Michigan State University study, which observed 3,700 people washing their hands in public bathrooms, found that only one in 20 people wash well ...

Government Bans Sugary, Fatty Snacks From Schools

Under the government’s new “Smart Snacks in Schools” guidelines, schools will no longer be allowed to stock vending machines or snack bars with treats ...

Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation ...