NEW YORK—According to widespread sources, the parents of the adorable baby appearing on screen in a popular television comedy right now are, in all likelihood, completely insane and unfit to care for a child. “When you’re watching it, your first thought is what a cute kid this is, and then your second thought is, holy shit, they must have taken this baby to several rounds of long ‘auditions,’ whatever that means for a baby, instead of letting it sleep in a crib for hours like a normal, well-adjusted infant,” said viewer Brenda Ortiz, 33, adding that it seemed safe to assume the child’s parents would have to be mentally unstable to, first of all, get an agent for their baby, and second, put an innocent human being who has only been alive for a few months through weeks of callbacks and screen tests. “I would imagine these parents probably aren’t capable of taking care of themselves, let alone a 6-month-old whose well-being they’ve happily entrusted to an overworked TV crew.” At press time, viewers were trying to just enjoy the show and ignore the fact that this baby’s parents were most likely blowing the earnings from their child’s television appearance on a lavish Caribbean cruise at the expense of a college fund.