In Paula Polite's Wednesday column, she wrote that diners must switch from a salad fork to a shrimp fork if seafood surpasses 20 percent of a salad's contents. It's actually 30 percent. The Onion apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused and has fired Paula Polite.
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.