Dear The Onion,
We need a copy of your Pearl Harbor front page to spin around quickly in a newsreel we're working on. I trust you will supply.
01.14.12
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Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter
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Scientists Find Thousands Of Previously Undiscovered Species Cowering In Amazon Rainforest
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Alabama School System's Lone Textbook Falling Apart
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Fleet Of Ambulances On Hand For 41-Year-Olds' Touch Football Game
