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Sports News in Brief

Penguins Coach Assures Everyone That Dazed, Vomiting Sidney Crosby Is Progressing Nicely

March 21, 2011 | ISSUE 47•12

PITTSBURGH—Following a Tuesday skate-around in which concussed team captain Sidney Crosby practiced for the first time since January, Penguins coach Dan Bylsma told reporters that his star player, who spent the majority of the press conference passed out and only occasionally woke up to vomit, is progressing nicely and should be back on the ice soon. "His recovery is right on schedule," Bylsma said as Crosby quietly slurred a complaint about how bright the lights were, fell into a daze, and began convulsing. "We're seeing some definite signs of improvement. We just have to keep at it until he can stand without assistance." Bylsma claimed the team could expect Crosby to return as early as next week, or when he can remember who he is, where he is, and what hockey is, whichever comes first.

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