BATAVIA, NY—A skit planned for the upcoming Batavia High School's homecoming pep rally is likely to include Principal James Hoary forgoing his well-known stoic demeanor and donning women's clothing, booster club sources reported Tuesday. "[Junior] Sarah Foster said she saw a blond wig and a really big [rival high school] Caledonia cheerleader's uniform in the principal's office, which is so hilariously inconsistent with his character," said sophomore Jill Mooney. "Plus, I heard Mr. Hoary has been practicing a dance routine in the gym every night after school. I really hope it's true. It will totally be the funniest thing ever." Principal Hoary refused to comment on the cross-dressing rumors, saying only "Go Bulldogs!"
More News in Brief
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...
Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing
SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...
Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics
SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his ...



0

