SOMERS, NY—A 60-second, $2.6 million ad that aired during Sunday’s Super Bowl telecast has raised awareness of Pepsi .00000000001 percent, Pepsi officials said Monday. Specifically, the ad raised Pepsi-awareness in Xiao Bu—a 71-year-old Pyongyang, China, peasant and one of five known humans not familiar with Pepsi—who learned of the existence of the soft drink while watching the Super Bowl. “This $2.6 million was money well spent. With it, Pepsi has finally surpassed 99.9999999999 percent global saturation and cracked the hard-to-reach Xiao Bu market,” Pepsico’s Ken Doyle said. “We now look forward to introducing Pepsi to Mala N’dougou of Gabon and babies who were born in comas.” In response to the Pepsi ad, chief rival Coca-Cola announced Tuesday it will launch its own $11 million ad blitz targeting Xiao.