For years, The Onion has systematically cataloged all our web users' personal information: what they were reading, when they were reading it, and which articles they e-mailed to others. The Onion would like to offer its deepest apologies for not allowing advertisers access to this information sooner.
The Onion apologizes for leaving the drawbridge down overnight.
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...
Last Tuesday’s edition of The Onion was actually the October 1990 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.