AUSTIN, TX—Scandal rocked the University of Texas Monday, when it was learned that Bin Lu, a 28-year-old physics teaching assistant, was not born in the U.S., but rather in China. "We are investigating this matter fully," said C. Thomas Brady, Director of Administrative Affairs at the school. "How a foreigner infiltrated our system, and got through our exhaustive set of security clearance checks, is a question we must answer." Brady vowed to get to the bottom of the matter.
More News in Brief
‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Missions To Focus Largely On Tutoring, Community Outreach
NEW YORK—Confirming months of speculation, developers at Rockstar Games revealed today that the missions in the upcoming Grand Theft Auto V video game will ...
Justin Bieber Recovering In Intensive Care Unit After Being Badly Booed
LAS VEGAS—Doctors at Valley Hospital Medical Center are reporting that pop sensation Justin Bieber is in critical but stable condition today after being admitted ...
Teacher Grading Papers Next To You On Plane Not Pulling Any Punches
ABOVE CONCORDIA, KS—Her pen mercilessly slashing its way through a stack of handwritten pages, the middle school English teacher grading papers next to you ...



0

