Pope To Reduce His Twitter Followers’ Time In Purgatory

American VoicesOpinion ISSUE 49•29 Jul 19, 2013

The Vatican will offer indulgences to believers who follow Pope Francis’ Twitter account, @pontifex, during next week’s World Youth Day, thereby reducing the amount of time these individuals’ souls spend in purgatory and allowing them to enter heaven faster. What do you think?

  • “Boy, you can get some great deals on Twitter.”

    Sara Hanable –
    Operations Manager

  • “That’s a relief. I have a big week of sinning planned.”

    Ron Castro –
    Circuit Breaker Assembler

  • “Has anyone ever considered staging a doctrinal protest against such notions?”

    Roger Farmer –
    Harpist