Pre-Millennium Tension
0With less than a year to go before the dawn of a new millennium, doomsayers are predicting everything from a global computer collapse to Armageddon. What do you think about the growing Y2K anxiety?
“You mean, in less than a year, the damned will be carried off to the sulfurous pits of hell by hideous, moth-winged reptiles straight out of a Hieronymus Bosch triptych? Cool.”
Jennifer Voss –
Teacher“Technically, since Christ was actually born in 4 B.C., the millennium has already begun, and it is now 2003. So any self-respecting Y2K freak would have immolated himself back in '96.”
Ted McGlothlin –
Systems Analyst“All I know is, I'm gonna be so hung over on Jan. 1, 2000, I'm not even gonna give a shit if the rivers run red with blood.”
Fred Davalillo –
Custodian“In the next millennium, there will no longer be prejudice against gays. There will be space-prejudice against space-gays.”
Joan Egan –
School Psychologist“Pre-millennial tension, huh? Whenever my wife gets that, she bloats up like a big sow.”
Ronald Chance –
Sales Consultant“In preparation for the coming Apocalypse, I went out and bought a waterbed, which should hold about 300 gallons of vanilla pudding.”
Eugene Amaro –
Rental Agent
