With less than a year to go before the dawn of a new millennium, doomsayers are predicting everything from a global computer collapse to Armageddon. What do you think about the growing Y2K anxiety?

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  You mean, in less than a year, the damned will be carried off to the sulfurous pits of hell by hideous, moth-winged reptiles straight out of a Hieronymus Bosch triptych? Cool.

  Jennifer Voss
  Teacher

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  Technically, since Christ was actually born in 4 B.C., the millennium has already begun, and it is now 2003. So any self-respecting Y2K freak would have immolated himself back in '96.

  Ted McGlothlin
  Systems Analyst

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  All I know is, I'm gonna be so hung over on Jan. 1, 2000, I'm not even gonna give a shit if the rivers run red with blood.

  Fred Davalillo
  Custodian

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  In the next millennium, there will no longer be prejudice against gays. There will be space-prejudice against space-gays.

  Joan Egan
  School Psychologist

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  Pre-millennial tension, huh? Whenever my wife gets that, she bloats up like a big sow.

  Ronald Chance
  Sales Consultant

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  In preparation for the coming Apocalypse, I went out and bought a waterbed, which should hold about 300 gallons of vanilla pudding.

  Eugene Amaro
  Rental Agent