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Sports News in Brief

Pretentious Selection Committee Member Thinks Only 6 Teams Deserve Spots In NCAA Tournament

March 15, 2010 | ISSUE 46•10

INDIANAPOLIS—Following hours of heated deliberation, pretentious selection committee member Doug Fullerton remained adamant Saturday that only six teams had truly earned a spot in the 2010 men's NCAA basketball tournament. "Let's be honest with ourselves. Purdue is hardly NCAA Tournament material. The very idea. And Baylor? You've got to be kidding me," said Fullerton, who refused to give Kansas, Kentucky, or Syracuse any seed higher than 14. "There's no reason we should be clogging up the brackets with this dreck. And I, for one, would rather not watch Duke embarrass itself yet again, if it's all the same to you." Fullerton added that it was his colleagues' lack of appreciation for the avante-garde that caused them to laugh him out of the room for suggesting Eastern Washington University be made a No. 1 seed.

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