0FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Alan Gilchrist, an associate professor of English literature at the University of Arkansas infamous for his tough grading standards and dry lecturing style, was coerced into sleeping with an undergraduate on Monday in order to earn a good course evaluation. "My tenure's on the line here, so I allowed a student to take advantage of me," said an emotional Gilchrist of the experience, which he hopes will earn him at least six "very much enjoyed" responses on the eight-item evaluation form. "I told myself it would be just this once, and that it would be over soon, and that it wouldn't be that bad, but I was used. And I can't stop showering." Sources said that the unidentified student is one of the most popular and charismatic on campus, raising questions about possible abuse of power.
More News in Brief
Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria
WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise ...
New Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food Chains
WASHINGTON—Americans across the country expressed their excitement Wednesday over the upcoming release of Value Meal, a feature-length documentary that will, at long last, shed ...
After One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes Sense
NEW YORK—Though he was once confused by the number of frail, seemingly mentally unstable people concentrated around the Houston and Broadway area of Manhattan ...
