PENSACOLA, FL—Lance Kiser, the host at the Erewan Thai restaurant, informed fellow employees Monday that the bloated, choking man at table four may contain trace amounts of peanuts. "Warning: The dark-haired businessman who very suddenly began experiencing shortness of breath, confusion, and slurred speech may contain trace amounts of peanuts," Kiser said. "He definitely ate a plate of chicken curry prepared in the same facility as dishes containing peanuts and/or other nuts." The purple-faced, swelling man declined comment.
More News in Brief
BREAKING: Lovers Lost In Fog
‘Isabelle!’
SEDGECREST GRANGE—According to reports currently emanating from the sullen gloom of Sedgecrest Grange, two young lovers, mere moments after their impetuous peregrination into the ...
Report: 79% Of Sincere Thoughts Played Off As Jokes
NEW HAVEN, CT—According to a groundbreaking new report from researchers at Yale University’s Center for Cultural Sociology, a full 79 percent of all ...
Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office
COLUMBUS, OH—Based on his recent activity on Facebook, local man Arthur Gibson, 29, is reportedly under the impression that libertarian icon and former presidential ...



0
