0WASHINGTON, DC– According to a Labor Department report released Monday, foreign sweatshops are seriously diminishing the profitability of domestic sweatshops. "Since January 1999," the report read, "more than 200 U.S. sweatshops have been forced either to close or issue massive layoffs due to unfair competition from Far East sweatshops." Said Bruno Stoops, manager of the Queens, NY, sweatshop Best Fabrics, which employs some 150 illegal Honduran immigrants: "How can I compete with some Hong Kong sweatshop when I'm paying my employees 85 cents an hour and can only force them to work 16-hour days? In Asia, they can produce equally shoddy goods for 13 cents an hour."
More News in Brief
New Obesity Drug Delicious
CHICAGO—Following the FDA’s approval of the prescription obesity medication Pryvexa earlier this week, users of the recently released weight management pill have confirmed ...
Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports, the American people are currently rubbing their hands in anticipation for whatever vile, disgusting garbage the internet will eventually puke up ...
Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of Twinkles
WASHINGTON—In a breakthrough study that experts say completely reshapes our understanding of the cosmos, a team of astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered that ...
