WASHINGTON, DC—State Department officials are "deeply concerned" by a just-released report that Vulgarian despot Baron Bomburst has acquired Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the fantastical flying car created by zany, limber inventor Caractacus Potts. "Vulgaria is already a leader in the fields of child abduction and wife-beating," Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said. "If they can reverse-engineer the Potts device and discover the tactically crucial, splendiferous technology of airborne, turn-of-the-century Grand Prix racers, the global balance of power could potentially be altered forever."