CorrectionsOpinion Mar 30, 2011

Last week we reported that our resident bridge columnist Mort Numan was on vacation. Turns out he had actually fallen into a diabetic coma and the whole time was just slumped under his desk, hidden beneath a mound of future columns. The Onion regrets the error. His column Bridge Beat will resume in next week's issue and will probably continue—let's see here—for another six months or so.