PROVIDENCE, RI—The Rhode Island legislature has passed a law moving the state's presidential primary to tomorrow, forcing candidates from both parties to hastily revise their schedules and platforms.

"I love Rhode Island, always have—especially the people," said Sen. John Edwards while being briefed on Rhode Island politics aboard a plane bound for Providence. "Just because it's a small state doesn't mean it's not important. Frankly, I've always believed Rhode Island, or the 'Ocean State,' as I prefer to call it, should be much bigger—an issue on which my opponents have remained curiously silent."

Former Gov. Mitt Romney announced his intention to release a 10-point plan addressing the issues that most deeply affect Rhode Islanders, as soon as he and his staff figure out what those issues are.