Oil prices climbed to over $77 a barrel following BP’s announcement that it would shut down its Prudhoe Bay oil field. Here are the other factors involved in the rising costs:

  • Increased demand from oil collectors
  • More people starting to realize how delicious it tastes
  • Lack of dinosaurs dying en masse
  • Paris Hilton seen at red-carpet gala wearing nothing but crude petroleum
  • Urban children opening oil hydrants to cool down
  • Wife keeps driving to Kroger’s every day for some goddamn thing
  • Oil paintings sold in Holiday Inn Express lobbies finally earning respect of art world
  • Worldwide barrel shortage