Oil prices climbed to over $77 a barrel following BP’s announcement that it would shut down its Prudhoe Bay oil field. Here are the other factors involved in the rising costs:

• Increased demand from oil collectors
• More people starting to realize how delicious it tastes
• Lack of dinosaurs dying en masse
• Paris Hilton seen at red-carpet gala wearing nothing but crude petroleum
• Urban children opening oil hydrants to cool down
• Wife keeps driving to Kroger’s every day for some goddamn thing
• Oil paintings sold in Holiday Inn Express lobbies finally earning respect of art world
• Worldwide barrel shortage