LOWELL, MA—Coworkers having a drink Friday at the Blue Shamrock Pub reported feeling disgusted with themselves for laughing—and in some cases even cracking up—at a remark made by an obnoxious member of the group whose behavior up to that point had been worthy of scorn and dismay. "Why did that jerk have to go and say something so goddamn hilarious?" said a crestfallen Dennis Gladstone, who shook his head as he acknowledged that the comment had caused him to chuckle audibly, thereby validating the total prick. "Now that we've all laughed it up with that asshole, he'll probably want to come out drinking with us all the time." According to reporters, Gladstone then paused, giggled to himself, and said, "Fuck me!"