Science Disproves Vampires

American Voices • ISSUE 42•43 • Oct 31, 2006

Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?

“So I've been sleeping all day in a coffin, hanging upside down in a cave lair, and drinking human blood for nothing?”
Michael Poole –
Bog Limnologist
“I wish I had tenure. If I spent all my time in the warehouse thinking up crap like that, I'd get canned in a heartbeat.”
Bobbi Delaney –
Fabricator
“This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”
Gavin Jacobson –
Machinist

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