Science Disproves Vampires

American Voices ISSUE 42•43 Oct 31, 2006

Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?

  • “So I've been sleeping all day in a coffin, hanging upside down in a cave lair, and drinking human blood for nothing?”

    Michael Poole –
    Bog Limnologist

  • “I wish I had tenure. If I spent all my time in the warehouse thinking up crap like that, I'd get canned in a heartbeat.”

    Bobbi Delaney –
    Fabricator

  • “This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”

    Gavin Jacobson –
    Machinist

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