-
  • Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
  • Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
  • Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
  • Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
  • Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
  • Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

Sports News in Brief

Seattle's Disastrous Sports Year Continues With Addition Of Major League Soccer Team

December 4, 2008 | ISSUE 44•52 ISSUE 44•51 ISSUE 44•49

SEATTLE—After witnessing its baseball team finish in last place, its NFL team break its streak of five straight playoff appearances, and its NBA team leave for Oklahoma City, Seattle received another blow with the addition of a new Major League Soccer franchise, the Sounders FC.

"I mean, I sat through all 11 of the Huskies' losses, but this is worse than any of that," said Seattle resident Dusty Warren, who watched in resignation as the MLS expansion draft aired on a nearby television. "People will be wearing those jerseys and making up stupid chants for weeks before they realize they've been had. It's almost as insulting as when that WNBA team won the title." The mood in the city darkened even further when partial Sounders owner Drew Carey pledged to be a visible presence around the team and perform throughout the city year-round.

Video
The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.

Follow The Onion

Sign Up For The Newsletter

Daily Weekly Video

Other Options: