MILWAUKEE—After four years in which the outcome of the All-Star Game determined home-field advantage in the World Series, Commissioner Bud Selig has announced that Major League Baseball will attempt to increase fan interest by allowing the game's outcome to determine the direction of the United States foreign policy. "We have been working closely with the players' union and the State Department to align opposing theories of American involvement overseas with our two leagues," Selig said in a press conference Tuesday. "Since 'This Time It Counts' didn't resonate with the fans, we're hoping that 'All-Star Game 2007: The Fate Of The Free World Hangs In The Balance' will build more excitement." Although the exact details of the plan have yet to be determined, Selig said that a National League victory would almost certainly result in completely open borders, renewed relations with Cuba, and the withdrawal of coalition forces from Iraq.
More Sports News in Brief
ESPN Thinks It Can Just Casually Call Something 'Confed Cup'
BRISTOL, CT—Expressing confusion and annoyance upon reading the phrase, sources confirmed Wednesday that someone at ESPN thinks it’s okay to call something the ...
NBA Experts Rule Out All The Things NBA Finals Won’t Come Down To
Library Books, ‘Hudson Hawk,’ Mail Among Things That Won’t Factor Into Outcome
MIAMI—As the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat prepare to face off in Tuesday’s Game 6 matchup, a group of NBA experts ...
Man Who Plays Game For Millions Of Dollars Called Gutsy
BOSTON—Several sources confirmed Friday that a man who is paid millions of dollars to play a game was reportedly called gutsy and lauded for ...



0
