WASHINGTON—S. 4781, otherwise known as the We're All a Bunch of Huge Homos Act, was unanimously passed for the ninth consecutive time after pressure Thursday from Senate bully Rob Antonelli (R-NJ). "The bill passes. It is resolved that I am a fag. We are all massive fags," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who has been repeatedly told by his constituents to defend himself and just pop Sen. Antonelli right in the face. "Let the record show that we are also big pussies who wet our beds at night." Aides to Antonelli told reporters the senator would be out by the bike racks behind the Smithsonian later if any of them would like to learn more details about the bill.
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...




0

