The Onion got all excited last week after we thought we discovered a septapus, but it turns out it was just a regular dumb octopus hiding one of its stupid tentacles. The Onion regrets the error.
The Onion apologizes for leaving the drawbridge down overnight.
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...
Last Tuesday’s edition of The Onion was actually the October 1990 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.