A sequence of characters in last week's Onion evidently marked the first-ever print appearance of the One True Name of God Almighty. We apologize to anyone who was working on an important project when the very Heavens cleft and the Third Covenant was writ across Creation.
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.