Could do with a little less Tatooine, a little more Hoth. Right, ladies?
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking
    Sports Newswire • sports • ISSUE 49•03 • Jan 17, 2013
    • Facebook11
    • Twitter6
    • Google Plus0

    Seven Lucky Oprah Guests Find Tour De France Titles Under Their Chairs

    More Sports Newswire

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Frank Vogel Seen Googling 'NBA Pacers Good?'

    Frank Vogel Seen Googling 'NBA Pacers Good?'

    Recent News

    Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second ThingRestaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up AntibioticsKate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy OrgyWoman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This AugustLocal Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp

    • Comedy: Podmass: David Sedaris describes his bath time, cicadas are explained, and Wompler returns

    • TV: Interview: Mitchell Hurwitz talks about the resurrection of Arrested Development

    • TV: What's On Tonight?: Orphan Black stands alone over a long holiday weekend

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Web Series Reaches 100 Views

    • Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved