0DUBUQUE, IA—Bashful Clark College sophomore Mandy Schumacher, 20, has spent the last month unsuccessfully trying to forge a personality from scratch, friends of Schumacher said Monday. "She's been introverted for so long that she just doesn't have a clue how to present herself to the world," Schumacher's roommate Krista Vezmer said. "One day she's, like, expounding on the modern ramifications of the Civil War, and the next, she's dancing on tables at Noonan's during Happy Hour." Vezmer added that she thinks Schumacher should stick with mousy.
More News in Brief
Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics
SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his ...
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness
LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of ...
Local Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp
DES MOINES, IA—With complaints about everything from “raggedy prayer mats” to “the grimiest ablution fountain ever,” local Muslims have slammed the al-Wali Mosque on ...
